Ok...here is the toothpaste story. It is the dumbest thing and maybe not that funny, but you may be able to relate to this craziness.
So, I am signed up for Vocalpoint. This was one of a billion companies I signed up for to hopefully make some extra money doing surveys and trying products. So far, with Vocalpoint, I have received a free, kick ass razor, a coupon for free Kashi Breakfast bars, mouthwash, facial lotion, and a coupon for Crest Weekly spa treatment.
My teeth have been looking a little yellowish lately and I thought yesterday would be the perfect time to go get my Spa Treatment.
I stopped by both CVS and Walgreens and they didn't have it. So, I went to Publix instead.
The parking lot and store was a mad house and I finally made my way over to the toothpaste aisle. The box was there, so I got in line.
I was in one of those 10 items or less lines and while standing there, I noticed that one of mom's friend's was in front of me. "Oh God, what the heck is her name? She ALWAYS remembers my name. What the hell is it? Martha? Maggie? Oh my gosh! My hair is so greasy right now. OK, quick make your hair look better. And my teeth look so yellow. I look AWFUL! Oh Snap!
She is up to the cashier and she is going to turn to the side and see me. Quick, look at the gift cards like you are trying to make a decision. Oh darn, now her husband just walked up. What the heck is HIS name? Bob, Brad....Oh thank HEAVEN, they left!".
So I get up to the cashier who happens to be around my Dad's age and new on the job. I give him the toothpaste ($3.79) and the coupon (valued at $3.99) and he rings everything up. Well the coupon is denied because I didn't spend $3.99. So the man tells me to try and find some gum or something. I look behind me and there are 15 people waiting to just get through this stupid line and get home. I tell him, "Ok, but can you just take the lady behind me, while I go look?" and he tells me not to worry about it. So instead of walking around, I walk up the next cashier line and squeeze between the gum display and some lady's cart who is waiting to check out. I am so freaked out that I am going to make the people behind me waiting SO MAD! I have completely pushed up the lady's cart and it is so weird and hyper. She is looking at me like I am crazy and I feel crazy. Everything is 89 cents and up and I know I don't have that much money. So I go back to the man and tell him, "I can't do this. I can't find anything that costs 30 cents and I can't keep holding up the line!".
So he has to go through the grueling process of giving me a refund and he needs help from a manager. I was MORTIFIED. I am sure people are looking at me and thinking "Why can't you just get out your credit card and just GET THIS OVER WITH???" (I don't have credit cards anymore - all CASH baby!)
I just wanted to go in the store and get my toothpaste.
So, he does the refund, and gives me the coupon back. I was all prepared to just leave, but then he says "Do you want to take the box back and try to find something?". Stupid me, takes it and walks around the store trying to find something that is 30 cents. Finally I just give up and slam the box down to leave the store.
As I am leaving, I notice some small bags of Lays chips. Those are usually cheap. So I get the chips and get in line again.
After waiting in line for a few minutes, I am up to that same man cashier. I look down and realize that I forgot to go back and get the freakin toothpaste. So I run back to get it and when I come back, somehow I have to pay the difference in the coupon, plus the price of the chips.
This requires that I go into the bottom of my purse to find change and after two minutes FINALLY we make a sale and I can leave. The man was so dear and sweet and really wanted me to have my toothpaste. He never raised his voice or became impatient. Do you think he could be an "Elf on the Shelf"?
After waiting for five cars to back up and witnessing a major traffic jam that caused me to have to stand in the middle of the parking lot until they got it resolved, I got into my car. When I opened the box - there lies the tiniest tube of toothpaste I have ever seen IN MY LIFE in the biggest box known to man.
But my teeth ARE a little whiter today and I had a funny story to share with YOU!
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