WHAT THE HELL IS IN MY PURSE

WHAT THE HELL IS IN MY PURSE

I just looked in my purse and for some reason I have nutmeg in the bottom of it. I was looking for a very important mini-spiral notebook and noticed that the 10,000 count, Extra large Ibuprofren bottle we have been searching frantically for the past month has been turned over and little brown tablets are in every corner and crevice of my purse. We just went to Costco and purchased two more 10,000 count Ibuprofrens to make up for our loss. I should have looked in the zipper portion of my purse.

And then I noticed the nutmeg. Why do I have nutmeg in my purse? It too, has opened and has sprinkled spicy dust all over the place. My purse needs a little pumpkin mix and we would have a wonderful pie.

Isn't it fascinating to look in other peoples purses? My friend Lisa, my sister and my mom know exactly what is in their purse. They have compartments and smaller containers for each of their important items. They probably know where their keys are and can hand you a fresh tissue when you need to blow your nose. I usually have a Subway napkin covered in sticky pen ink and a hair.
When their cell phone rings, they know exactly where it is and can answer on 2 rings. Mine somehow got placed in the side pocket underneath 3 pairs of sunglasses (why do I have three pair and not one and why is it not in a sunglass case?) and I always have to check my voicemail because I usually miss the call.

I love purses and usually do better when it does have those special compartments (except when losing pills). If I ever get suckered into a cute summer straw bag, it usually comes with the gaping black hole of an inside where your keys, wallet, ham sandwich and cell phone get sucked into the unknown. I NEVER can find anything in THOSE kinds of purses.

My ideal purse is one that is extremely cute and stylish on the outside, but has a secret life on the inside that the purse is too afraid to divulge to other purses. It contains pockets, hooks, zippers, side slots, and even a built in wallet that opens out to show your ID to the 14 year old cashier at the grocery store that doesn't believe you're old enough to buy Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade. That's my kind of purse, a purse with it's own baggage.

I just looked in the left section of my purse (the zippered middle divides the purse in two - kind of like "a tale of two purses") and saw one lone red twizzler from when we went to the movies - three weeks ago.

It has nutmeg on it. I wonder if that would taste good?

From the infamous words of Capitol One credit cards, "What's In Your Wallet?"